Conversations with the Children

[Driving home from Teresa's wedding in the rain]
Ingrid: It sounds like someone's tap dancing on the roof.
[Rain stops]
Ingrid: Oh, they stopped dancing.
Heidi: Or maybe they're DEAD.

[Getting dressed in my closet]
Ingrid: Eh, not those shorts, Mom.
Me: I thought you liked these shorts?
Ingrid: I do . . . you just shouldn't wear them.