2020-21 Catch Up: Florida Road Trip!

We reached Christmas break, having recovered from COVID, not really recovered from a month of fake virtual school with Fritz home, and a major case of cabin fever.  So I put my travel planning ideas into high gear and whip together another National Park road trip.  We're all ready for some south Florida sun in the middle of Minnesota winter!

Day 1: Fly into Fort Myers

We flew to Fort Myers, waited a gagillion hours to get our rental car, and zipped down to our hotel in Naples.  Charter Club Naples was very cute.  Plenty of room for the crew, nice little pool and hot tub next to the bay, with requisite "Beware of Alligators" sign.  We went for a swim and then walked to dinner, ate the requisite fried alligator bites and Key Lime pie.  Henry committed to trying ALL THE PIE.

Day 2: Naples and Everglades West

We spent our first morning running around on lovely Naples Beach.  The kids hadn't ever seen epic, wide, sandy beach before (the one we go to in Jamaica is quite small) and they delighted in all that sandy expanse and shallow water.  

After a few hours on the sand, which is more than enough for Karl, we packed in in for lunch at delicious Turco Taco, which I would happily eat every day for the rest of my life.  And then off for our airboat ride through the Everglades! 

This ecological abomination was insanely fun.  You're just sitting on an open platform with this crazy landscape flying by on all sides while Bubba the remarkably knowledgable redneck narrates into your headphones.  We used Down South Airboat tours and would highly recommend them.  The driver was very cool about us arriving late when I failed to note that we had to meet them 40 minutes from their office, even kept us out for extra time, knew the area well, and was really nice to the kids.

The Everglades were not what I expected (and I've read a few Carl Hiaasen novels!).  We were on the north/freshwater side of Hwy 41, which is quite different from the saltwater side -- less ecosystem and species diversity, but clearer water.  I expected swamp muck, but if muck exists, it's below two or three feet of crystal clear, placid water.  The reflections on the water were so clear I could flip many of my photographs and not tell which way was originally up!  We only saw two alligators but that was enough to check the box.  We mostly enjoyed cruising around and taking in the landscape.  The driver took us through a couple of very cool, sheltered glades with loads of air plants.  We marveled at how broad the expanse of grass was.  In fact, when Henry and I were in North Dakota a week later, he looked out across the prairie and said, "Mom, this looks weirdly like Florida."  River of grass, indeed.

Both beach and Everglades were very fun, and we easily could have spent two more days doing the same thing, but we had two more parks to visit!  Off to the Keys!

Day 3: To Key West

We spent the whole next day meandering toward Key West.  First destination was a quick stop at the Everglades Gulf Coast Visitor Center in Everglades City.  We got the combo Junior Ranger packets for the three parks, looked at the outdoor exhibits, and regretted not having time for at 10,000 Islands boat tour.  On our way east, we drove right by the airboat "dock" where we started the day before.  Planning fail!  I should have made the airboat ride a stop on the way east rather than driving in and out of Naples.  

Lunch was at the absolutely delightful Morada Bay Beach Cafe on Islamorada.  Highly recommend.  Karl's only non-NPS request for the whole trip was to eat seafood with his feet in the sand while the kids ran around, and Morada Bay delivered.  Henry strongly approved of their Key Lime pie with toasted meringue instead of whipped cream [correct].

Karl and cocktail over here; children over there.

Our condo in Key West was slightly dumpy but totally serviceable, especially since we planned to spend zero waking minutes there.  We unloaded our stuff and headed right into old town Key West.  The Hemingway House was our first stop.  I wasn't sure how this would go, but the kids really liked it!  Henry is sort of a sucker for a history tour, Ingrid likes to see vintage room furnishings, and everybody loves cats.  We had a solid 45 minutes before Fritz got bored, but that was plenty.  

Then we strolled all the way through town, along Duval Street, toward Mallory Square.  We all thought it was funny/ridiculous that the KWPD was out in force to ensure young children wore masks outdoors while people were doing drugs on the street.  Priorities.  Mallory Square at sunset is a singular experience, and we hit it just at the right time -- performers starting to come out, gorgeous sunset, people-watching opportunities for days.  Henry would have stayed all night.  But we had some hungry grumpers and it was starting to get cold, so we booked it back to the car.  I had flagged a million delicious-looking restaurants but the waits were very long and it's hard to seat six people in tiny restaurants, so we took the lazy route and ordered pizza delivery to meet us back at the condo.

Day 4: Dry Tortugas

And now for one of my bucket list items -- Dry Tortugas National Park!  One of the most remote, least-visited, most unique parks of all, and I was so excited.  We got up verrrrry early to be on our ferry, which is the only way to get to the park (other than chartering your own boat).  This time we loaded up on Dramamine, but the Caribbean in January was way less evil than Lake Michigan in October, and everyone felt fine sitting outside in the sunshine.

We took the park-chartered history tour, which was well worth the time.  The guide provided the perfect level of information about why the fort is where it is, how it was designed and built, and a few stories about times when the little island -- seemingly at the edge of the world -- was critical to some major world event.  Henry asked questions like a gunner and Ingrid got to serve as the model for how much the cannonballs weighed.  Fritz was great for about 75% of the tour and then got loudly bored, so we ducked out of the tour and explored the upper ramparts on our own.

Then we took a brief snorkel -- briefer than I would have liked, but the water was pretty chilly, and the snorkel gear we lovingly gifted them at Christmas and hauled all the way to the middle of the ocean was just not comfortable, Mom.  We ran on the beach and had snacks while we waited for the ferry back to Key West.  

Looking at a terrifyingly large fish in the moat.

This water color fills my soul.

I had seen many online reviews saying this park was a must-see, but not a must-return.  I wholeheartedly disagree!  Maybe it's because we had to cut short both the tour and the snorkeling because of young kids, but there was a lot more to see and do than anyone could accomplish in the six-hour ferry day.  Karl and I would absolutely love to return and camp overnight to allow for a full day of exploring, some epic dark skies, and a full day in the water.  

After the long ride back to land, we finished the day with late dinner at Pepe's, a Key West classic that Karl and I enjoyed a million years ago, back when I was a lawyer and pregnant with Ingrid.  

Day 5: Back up the Keys

Breakfast the next day was at Ana's Cuban Cafe for extremely tasty sammies on the porch.  Then we strolled down the street for the requisite photo at the Southernmost Point.  This photo in almost-Cuba would be funny to me seven days later when Henry and I were in almost-Canada.  We also stopped in at the Butterfly & Nature Conservatory, because everyone loves butterflies, and Minnesotans love humidity in January.  

Dab Across America returns!

We waved goodbye to Key West and worked our way toward our next stop in Key Largo, which was our jumping off point for National Park #3.  I don't remember what we ate en route, but it wasn't Morada Bay Beach Cafe, so that was a mistake.  We made two super fun stops.  First up, Robbie's Marina, where the kids LOVED feeding the giant tarpon fish.  There were also fun games and some very aggressive synchronized pelicans.

So organized.

So aggressive.

And then a trip highlight: swimming with dolphins!  It's so cheesy and yet so fun; a year later, the kids still mention this more often than the epic National Park fort surrounded by crystal blue water.  We went to Dolphins Plus, which provided a very nice, if somewhat too-brief experience.  The staff basically just told us what to do/not do and put us on the water platform.  I think the kids would have gotten even more out of it if they'd heard about dolphins or learned about their care.  But the kids got to do a bunch of tricks and behaviors with our dolphin, and Henry and Ingrid got to surf alone around the enclosure.  They came out feeling like real, live mer-people.  

Lodging for the next two nights was in a tinyhouse I found on AirBNB.  We are comfortable cramming our crew into small spaces, but it turned out that TinyHouse was in an actual factual trailer park, which was pretty funny after staying in the Grand Hotel.  The cultural highlight of our trailer park stay was trying to do laundry with Henry.  Of course, the children have no idea that shared, coin-operated laundry even exists.  So imagine Henry's reaction when laundry involved loading the laundry into the car, driving to the laundry building, unloading the laundry, discovering the coin machine is out of coins, reloading the laundry in the car, driving to the front desk (where the staff speak only Spanish) for change, driving back to the laundry building, finding all the machines are full, driving to the other laundry building, starting the laundry, going back to TinyHouse, coming back an hour later to switch it to the dryer, going out to dinner, returning to pick up the laundry to discover it was still mostly wet, waiting back at TinyHouse, and finally getting dry laundry at 10pm.  It was a good lesson in why it's nice to not be poor.

Day 6: Key Biscayne National Park

Clean laundry in hand, we set off the next morning for National Park #3!  Key Biscayne NP is 95% water, so we booked ourselves a sailboat for the day!  We did the sail/paddle/snorkel through the Park Institute, which was a perfect way to see the highlights.  It was slightly overcast and cool, so we didn't spend as much time in the water as one might in the summer, but it was still amazing weather for January.  Our guide/captain took us out to Boca Chita Key, where the lighthouse was closed but the kids got to look for shells and splash in the water.  Then we unloaded the kayaks and paddled around a smaller island with mangroves on one side and super-clear water on the other side.  We could see right to the bottom, where we spotted starfish, small sharks, and stingrays.  

 

Not the Christmas card photo.

We sailed back and moseyed home to the TinyHouse, where we snuggled up for another night of trailer glamping.  I had booked in Key Largo because we envisioned seeing more of the upper Keys.  Given the time constraints, we didn't get to do that, so it probably would have been better to just stay three nights in Key West and three in Miami and cut out the middle stop, or stayed in Homestead where hotels are cheap and have pools.  Oh well.  That laundry lesson was pure gold.  

Day 6: Everglades East/Miami

Ready for the final leg of our trip, we headed toward Miami with a stop at the Juice House for delicious Cuban coffee and breakfast sammies.  Henry was in love.  He was also very energetic when we arrived at the Coe Visitor Center to hike the east side of the Everglades.  Ingrid had loudly proclaimed her desire NOT TO HIKE ON VACATION.  Sorry, kid.  There is dry land on this side of the park, and we shall hike it.  

As it turned out, some of the trails were underwater due to flooding (lucky Ingrid) but we did the Gumbo Limbo and Anhinga trails.  Fun to stretch our legs and see some of the tropical plant life.  The girls visited the Ranger table to review their packets, which were very nicely done.  

Excellent NP sign

Cuban coffee

Junior Ranger badges at last!

Having completed three National Parks, we moseyed up to Miami for more beach time, with a stop at Robert is Here for amazing milkshakes and a ton of fresh fruit to stock.  We checked into our condo hotel and immediately hit up the beach and pool.  There was just enough afternoon sun left for an hour of warmth on the shore.  Once the sun sank behind the hotels, it got too cold to be out, so we hosed off the sand and went to South Beach.  We managed to park the car and find a restaurant without getting divorced or killing anyone (barely), so we celebrated that accomplishment with giant mojitos and Cuban sandwiches.  The kids enjoyed watching all the people playing volleyball in tiny thongs and the sidewalk preacher outside the restaurant.  As Fritz astutely observed, "Mom, your-ami has a lot of weirdos."

Beach school > virtual school

Day 7-8: Miami

The next days were more of the same.  Beach, pool, food.  It was a great end to the vacation, with sun and sand to fortify us for the winter.  

It was a fast and furious trip with four different hotels, and we easily could have spent a week in each of these locations, but it was the right kind of trip for a winter of quarantines -- lots of activity, lots of adventure, lots of new scenery.  And three new National Parks under our belts!  Beats the heck out of a week of virtual school.