Father's Day
Karl recently received an offer to join his current boss in moving from the government to a consulting firm. He would have to give up his very civilized civil service schedule and would likely be traveling Monday-Friday most weeks. But it would also pay quite a bit more, which would allow me to stay home or go part-time. Things have been pretty rough at work lately, so the offer is more tempting than it otherwise would be, and I've chewed the idea a little more thoroughly than I otherwise would have.
I concluded it was a terrible plan. As much as I would love to spend more time with Henry, we both need the Karl around. A big part of the fun of this parenting thing is sharing it with the other half. It would be pretty sad if Henry did something cute or funny and Karl was never here to enjoy it with me. It would also be a lot harder if Karl didn't come home to rescue us from one another at 5:30. I loved being home all day when I was on maternity leave, but flying solo 24 hours a day, five days a week, is a totally different beast. Eight hours a day is a vocation; twenty-four quickly turns into hard labor.
The boy needs his dad, too. Especially now that Henry is so active, he thrives on some man-time every day. He needs the change of pace and play after all day with the same person. Mother never thinks to, say, let the infant pretend to hang from the rafters.
Henry adores and trusts his dad, and I think that relationship would really suffer if Karl were only home on the weekends, given how short the baby memory is. He could get more time with Mom, but if the price is practically no time with Dad, I think it would be a pretty bad trade.
That boy loves his dad.
I concluded it was a terrible plan. As much as I would love to spend more time with Henry, we both need the Karl around. A big part of the fun of this parenting thing is sharing it with the other half. It would be pretty sad if Henry did something cute or funny and Karl was never here to enjoy it with me. It would also be a lot harder if Karl didn't come home to rescue us from one another at 5:30. I loved being home all day when I was on maternity leave, but flying solo 24 hours a day, five days a week, is a totally different beast. Eight hours a day is a vocation; twenty-four quickly turns into hard labor.
The boy needs his dad, too. Especially now that Henry is so active, he thrives on some man-time every day. He needs the change of pace and play after all day with the same person. Mother never thinks to, say, let the infant pretend to hang from the rafters.
Henry adores and trusts his dad, and I think that relationship would really suffer if Karl were only home on the weekends, given how short the baby memory is. He could get more time with Mom, but if the price is practically no time with Dad, I think it would be a pretty bad trade.
That boy loves his dad.
My parents are in town, so I got to have both of my favorite dads in the same place this weekend. The boys played and cuddled and (most importantly) barbecued ribs for us.
Henry is really lucky to be growing up in a family of so many good men. Happy Father's Day to all.
That is a tough decision but I think you are leaning in the right direction. No fun to be a single-married parent. A better scenario will come up that will work for all. Good luck!
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