Lainey

This weekend we said goodbye to the woman who was Henry's other mother for most of his life.  Our former nanny, Elaine Cameron, passed away two weeks ago.  For the previous six weeks she had been recovering from surgery to remove a benign tumor from her brain.  We saw her five days before she died and she seemed her usual joyful, energetic self.  She was excited to drive to Florida with her family for the holiday weekend and then get back to work with her babies.  At the end of the return drive from Florida, she started having chest pains and shortness of breath.  A blood clot resulting from the original surgery had traveled to her lungs.  She was taken to the hospital for heart surgery, but it was too late.  She died on July 8.  On Saturday she was buried at the church that was her second home.  

The service was beautiful but heartbreaking.  Friend after friend spoke of her energy, her enthusiasm, her love of children, her giving to others, and her optimism in the face of hardship.  The father of the first family that she cared for, who sponsored her to come to the U.S. from Jamaica, described how Elaine once walked several miles over downed trees and power lines to come to work the day after a hurricane.  The narrow Jamaican roads were impassable, but it didn't occur to her that she shouldn't come to care for the children.  Two different moms described how they hired Elaine to take care of their kids.   It was the first time either of them felt compelled to hug the job candidate at the end of the interview. 

She had a hard couple of years at the end.  Her personal life was a bit of a shambles, and she worried about her health, her age, and especially her finances.  She was terribly unsophisticated in business matters and a bad judge of character, leading her to trust people to her own detriment.  A few months ago, following her umpteenth real-estate related disaster, she asked, "Shelby, am I stupid? Why do you and Molly always have to tell me that these things are going to end badly?"  In one of the few moments in my life in which I knew the right answer without having to think about it, I told her, "Because Molly and I are lawyers.  We assume everyone is an a**hole.  You work with children and think everyone is as nice and honest as they are."

And that was Elaine.  She connected so well with children because she shared their sweetness and faith that everything would come out right.  Nannying wasn't just a job for her.  She loved, loved, loved those babies.  When I was on maternity leave the second time, I sometimes had to wrest Ingrid away from Elaine, even though she had Henry and Ravi to deal with.  She just couldn't wait to get her hands on that baby.  And boy, did she have the touch.

Though I have been home with Henry every day for the past seven months, not until sometime next month will I have spent more days with him than Elaine did.   She loved him and appreciated how special he is.  It is always difficult to say goodbye to a kind friend, but I am most sad for Henry that he won't have Elaine in his life as he grows.  He has lost the person who, other than his own family, loved him best in the world, and he doesn't even know it.

We will miss her terribly and will always regret that her relationship with our kids ended so soon.